This morning as I stared at my bowl of oatmeal and fresh blueberries, instead of judging them, I said a little prayer "Please let this taste yummy and be good for my body" and I swallowed it down. It was the first time In my whole life that I can ever remember enjoying oatmeal. I think I'm on to something here.
I secretly hate food. In my mind before I eat at thing negative thoughts usually are said. I basically talk shit about the food I am about to eat, telling it that it's not good enough for me, that it's not as healthy and as tasty as other foods and that I'm pretty much just using it for a quick fix.
Have you ever really stopped yourself and listened to what you say to yourself? Because that's exactly how I discovered that I talk so badly about and to food.
Let me share with you what this accomplishes.
A WHOLE LOT OF NEGATIVE!!!!!
No wonder I am putting on the pounds. I beat myself up for eating anything that isn't "healthy". And this next part I'll admit is a little weird but I'm just being honest, and I will do my best not to confuse.
If I prepare food, I feel that it's not good for any of us. Even if I whipped up a Vegetarian spinach wrap with a side of fruit, there is something in my brain that lies to muah and tells me its ultimately bad for me. Yes this is beginning to sound like a disorder.
But if I go to my friend Kety's house who hand prepares all her food, I feel like I am being nourished to my core, spiritually, nutritionally, mentally, emotionally. Even the wine is good for me! And I think I have figured out why this is the case.
My negative thoughts, or energy is spoiling the food.
So back to the beginning of my blog, I mentioned that I blessed my oatmeal, and it worked!!!
For a while now I have been researching different diets out there and trying to come up with some solution to help me lose 15lbs. There is so much out there like Jenny Craig and Nutrisystem just as an example that promise to help you lose the weight, and help you keep it of by a combination of mental, emotional, and physical help.
This is exactly what I need. (haha mental help)
I have been missing the connection between my diet, and my spirituality. The energy that is going into Kety's food is always positive. She is blessing the food she makes for all the people that will eat it. She is mixing with love so to speak. Cooking is not a huge favorite of mine, I am learning to love and appreciate it more and more as I get older. So at the very least I can say a few nice things to my food before I eat it instead of all this negative abuse I am slapping it with before it enters my mouth that until recently I didn't even realize I was doing.
And ladies and gentleman, that kind of mindless eating is called UNCONSCIOUSNESS!!!!
So my New Years Resolution is going to be to work on being a more conscious human.
Amen
