The Beauty In Me, The Beauty In You

For a while now, Oh, i'll say in the past ...20 years of my life I have been thinking about beauty and wondering just where I fit in. When I was a child I compared myself to the people who surrounded me, my family, my sister, my friends. Of course I always noticed something beautiful in each of them and I wanted it for myself. Thats a little different though than having and feeling my own beauty. In a way I was a little thieve, taking whatever I thought was beautiful about them and acting it out inside myself, or if I wasn't able to do that I would get upset and then mentally talk down to myself in one way or another. That is soooooo sad, right? And I have to admit that I still do this. So many of us are guilty of this.

I have continued to seek out and learn the truth in beauty from the time I can remember. As I got a bit older, say middle school, I began reading teen magazines and watching teen shows and movies and there again my idea of beauty got distorted. I can't remember anyone ever talking to me directly about beauty and how to feel and appreciate my own.

Ok I take that back. I had a fairy godmother growing up, I'm being completely honest here. I met her when I was seven years old selling Easter candy for a school fundraiser. She was in her yard working and I was by myself. I went to her neighbors house first and as I am told this many years later, but in my own creative words, An evil man answered the door, and wanted to lure me in only to do harm to the little princess that was myself. The fairygodmother was watching and could sense that this was a very bad man, so she quickly interupted us and told me she was interested in buying some of my candy. So I went over to her and of course she was glowing with magic and beauty. We talked, and I told her about what I was doing for my school and she offered to help me around the neighborhood to sell candy. She helped me meet friends that I would have for the rest of my life, and began planting the seeds inside of me of great success to come. We became life long friends that day.

Over the course of twenty years she has been many things to me, my fairygodmother as mentioned above, a friend, a spiritual counselor, a neighbor, a boss, my guiding light. She has spent years teaching me about beauty actually, but from the inside out. Of course not until recently have I put two and two together (anyone can say they know that beauty comes from the within, but it takes something more to know that).

High school was not a great place for me to learn about true beauty,and I picked up many ideas there that are all garbage now.
And even now as an adult I have to sit back and question what I am believing, what is being given to me by the media. Between ads and movies and television, I have to admit that I am a victim of this distorted view on beauty and I have bought into every single thing suggestion.

Recently a friend of mine posted a link

Lizzie Miller is a model. And clearly here she does not have the "perfect" body. She is glowing in her own skin!!

My first impression when I see this picture is; This woman is utterly gorgeous. And just as I was beginning to do what I do every time I see another woman who I believe is insanely beautiful which is that a quick bit of dialog runs through my head that tells me a bunch of lies and it goes something like this "She is so pretty!! I am not pretty like that. I wish I were pretty like that. I hate her cause she's pretty like that!!" I am quickly stopped in my train of thought to see in her something I see in myself! Finally!!!!

Its pure jelousy because I cannot appreciate myself and love myself enough to see whats beautiful about and and inside of me! Let me just say that I appreciate what Lizzie Miller has done for so many woman. Her courage and self esteem is a brilliant example for us all to follow, at the same time, it saddens me that we have allowed it to come to this. I believe that the majority of women these days are feeling an array of things pertaining to their self image and feeling inadequate. And its our desire to look as beautiful as possible, or as impossible actually and also what society says is beautiful and sexy. We are all entitled to our own opinions about what is beautiful, true, but do we have to go to the extremes of feeling like we are ugly and unattractive just because we don't look like the airbrushed model on the magazine? So this really is a problem that stems from inside of us that is fostered in our lives growing up and not often addressed by the people who love us.

People are beginning to see this and speak out. This is becoming an entire movement. Lizzie is not the first to show her skin as it is. The Dove company launched a huge campaign a few years ago that showed off womens skin in all different sizes. We as woman are relating to that and we are watching and listening carefully to get our next new idea about ourselves. If that is what it takes..fine..its not a bad thing. But I have a different idea, or something to add to this media movement. How about if we take it upon ourselves to educate and teach girls how to love who they are!!!!??? Embrace the differences and love what we are given and to be grateful for our unuiqeness.
We can teach beauty in a way that does not put down or discourage young women. We can teach girls how to care for their bodies, and enjoy the way they look and feel. Give them a sense of empowerement and confidence and help them to recognize that special something inside of them that they have to offer to the world.

This is what I want for my girls. Building beauty from the inside out, because as we know, you could be considered the most beautiful person on this planet but unless you feel and own that inside of you, you become powerless and your beauty will just go to waste because often times if we are self conscious we are not giving of ourselves. We have to see in us first what we want other people to see.

These are things that I am still learning to believe about myself, but I have come a long way from that insecure little girl. I shall love her and teach her about who she really is.I am learning to appreciate my own natural beauty. But it really comes down to changing our ideas about what beauty is and then sharing that with the rest of the world. Only then will we see a change.